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When that happened it meant I was expected to gonaked. Being fully undressed always invited insults about my weakphysique, lack of body hair, and undergrown genitals. So I was relievedwhen the nighty and panties were still there. As mortifying as it wouldbe to have them on, being left with nothing to wear was worse.Finally clean and dressed, I gave my hair one last check and headed forthe den, where our big-screen TV was. Kurt usually wanted to check thesports scores when he arrived. Lea was already there, lounging on thesofa. She had no bra under her top, and was displaying plenty of side-boob."Come on, Franny-Franny-Bo-Banny," she said and giggled. "Give me amini-fashion-show so I can make sure you're naughty looking enough." Idid a slow twirl. When I was facing her again she had a hand over hermouth, laughing into it. "Kurt will be thrilled to see you like that,all dressed to seduce. I love how your little dingle shows though thosepanties. I mean, it's so small you. Just don't. Now take that thing back wherever you got it and we'll forget the whole business, okay? But don't ever do anything like that again." And she just turned around and walked off, leaving me standing there in the bush with my mouth open and the piece still in my hand.Oh, sure, I guess you could say that makes this primitive art, all right. Real primitive. But we know about a lot of primitive art, don't we? I mean, the cave paintings at Altamira and Lascaux and some of those other places are pretty spectacular, aren't they? So what the hell?Anyhow, I was more than a little pissed that Miranda had made me out a liar right off the bat, didn't even give me a chance to say anything. They say hell has no fury like a woman scorned, but a guy who's called a liar when he isn't comes in a pretty good second. And when you're in your third year of college you think you know everything worth knowing anyhow. It took me about ten seconds to decide I was damn well going to show her. And.
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